Brian the Brain/Transcript

Hook
EXT. SPACE (SFX) Moon. HELENA(VO): "Moonbase Alpha Status Report."

1. EXT. MOONBASE ALPHA (SFX) HELENA (VO): "One thousand, one hundred and fifty days after leaving Earth's orbit. Doctor Helena Russell recording."

2.INT. COMMAND CENTRE HELENA (narrates into log): "During the many months of our space journey, we have kept a full record of everything that has happened. That record is now being reviewed." -Big Screen (SFX): pages from books displayed in rapid cuts. (sc 3) HELENA (VO): "Our computer is assessing what we've learned from the past and transferring that data to the Main Computer memory banks." -Command Centre: (sc 4) HELENA: "So our computer is fully engaged and some of our nonscientific personnel are having a bit of a rest." KOENIG: "Much good that does." HELENA: "What's the matter, John, don't you like having an easy time?" KOENIG: "Oh, I'd like it much better if my off duty time coincided with yours, and it hasn't, not once, not once since we started this memory rewind." HELENA: "Well, maybe the computer will pick out some memories of us together. Then we can, um, learn from the past." KOENIG: "I'd rather get back to the present." -Big Screen (SFX): static on screen. Over the last few frames the word 'Change' is displayed, then the screen clears except for that word. (sc 5) HELENA (VO): "What's that coming up now?" -Command Centre: (sc 6) KOENIG: "Change?" -Big Screen (SFX): displays 'Change of horizon factor 0.01' (sc 7). Number becomes 0.02, then 0.03. -Command Centre: (sc 8) HELENA: "That's not from the memory track." -Big Screen (SFX): '0.06', then 0.08. (sc 9) KOENIG (VO): "No, that's happening now." -Command Centre: (sc 12) TONY: "John." KOENIG: "Yasko. Show me the horizon." Bleeps are heard. TONY: "We're changing course." -Big Screen (SFX): screen changes from 1.28 to a diagram with two tangential lines, one marked 'Horizon Dev.'. (sc 15) HELENA (VO): "The Moon can't be off course. That's impossible." -Command Centre: (sc 16) KOENIG: "Maya. What's pulling us?" MAYA (types): "I have no reading, Commander." KOENIG: "Yasko. Find something on that screen." -Big Screen (SFX): diagram is swapped for a picture of space (sc 17) -Command Centre: (sc 18) TONY: "It looks the same as it always does." KOENIG: "Maya. What factor could be involved in a change of course that we couldn't read?" MAYA: "Just one. A gravity pull from space." KOENIG: "Locate that gravity source." TONY: "The computer's still reviewing the memory tracks." KOENIG: "Cancel the review." MAYA: "Review cancelled. Gravity scan in progress." KOENIG (paces): "Come on, come on! I want to know what's pulling us off course." -Big Screen (SFX): space (sc 19) -Command Centre: (sc 20) MAYA: "Predicted position of gravity source...no prediction." TONY: "That's correct." KOENIG: "Yasko. I want a three hundred and sixty degree visual scan." -Big Screen (SFX): space (sc 21) -Command Centre: they watch -Big Screen (SFX): space (sc 21) -Command Centre: (sc 22) TONY: "Nothing." -Big Screen (SFX): (sc 21) TONY (VO): "It could be a black dwarf." -Command Centre: reactions. (sc 22) HELENA: "A collision course with a black dwarf?" KOENIG: "Evacuation procedure." HELENA (presses button): "Medical Centre, prepare to evacuate." MAYA: "Research Unit, prepare to evacuate." TONY: "All Eagles, prepare to evacuate. Repeat, prepare to evacuate. Eagle Ten to remain on standby to evacuate command personnel." KOENIG: "Check rate of change." MAYA: "Change constant. But rate of close accelerating." TONY: "We're getting closer to whatever's pulling us. And we don't have much time." KOENIG: "Evacuate."

INT. WEAPONS SECTION The 'Anti Gravity Pod' screen flashes 'Evacuate'.

EXT. LAUNCH PAD (SFX) Eagle raised to surface by a buggy. Another Eagle raised.

INT. COMMAND CENTRE Koenig.

FADE OUT

ACT ONE
25.EXT. MOONBASE ALPHA (SFX) 5 Eagles rising over the base.

INT. WEAPONS SECTION The 'Anti Gravity Pod' screen flashes 'Evacuate'.

27.INT. CORRIDOR Alphans run along.

26.INT. TRAVEL TUBE (SFX) Unit speeds off.

25.EXT. LAUNCH PAD (SFX) Eagle launches.

26.INT. TRAVEL TUBE (SFX) Unit speeds on. Unit speeds on.

27.INT. CORRIDOR Alphans continue to run.

25.EXT. LAUNCH PAD (SFX) Eagle launches.

28.INT. COMMAND CENTRE BLONDE ALPHAN: "Commander?" -Big Screen (SFX): a point of light in space (sc 29) -Command Centre: Koenig backs to Tony & Maya (sc 30) KOENIG: "Identify." MAYA: "Estimates only." KOENIG: "Estimates only what? Why isn't our computer dealing with this?" TONY: "I don't know. Seems to have slowed up." -Big Screen (SFX): the dot. (sc 31) KOENIG (VO): "Is that what's pulling us off course?" MAYA: "No, Commander." -Command Centre: (sc 32) MAYA: "I calculate that it's a small planet with no more gravity pull than we have." -Big Screen (SFX): (sc 33) KOENIG (VO): "Focus and magnify." ((Swift appears)) -Command Centre: (sc 34) KOENIG: "Wait a minute." -Big Screen (SFX): Swift. -Command Centre. KOENIG: "Intercept." TONY: "Eagle One and Two. Intercept unknown spaceship approaching Moonbase Alpha. Command Centre will guide you."

35.EXT. SPACE (SFX) 2 Eagles peel off from 4 others.

36.INT. COMMAND CENTRE TONY: "On target."

37.INT. EAGLE PILOT SECTION FRASER: "Eagle One to Moonbase. We have visual."

38.EXT. SPACE (SFX) Swift, closing.

39.INT. COMMAND CENTRE KOENIG: "Koenig to Eagle One. Are you having abnormal gravity from that spaceship?" FRASER (on Tony's monitor): "No, sir, gravity is normal."

40.EXT. SPACE (SFX) 2 Eagles in foreground, Swift beyond.

41.INT. EAGLE PILOT SECTION FRASER: "Eagle One to Eagle Two, angle ten degrees from me."

42.EXT. SPACE (SFX) One Eagle separates from other.

44.INT. EAGLE PILOT SECTION FRASER: "Eagle One to spaceship." ((beat)) "Eagle One to spaceship, "

EXT. SPACE (SFX) FRASER (VO, cont): " can you receive me? We are friendly." BRIAN (VO): "Hello, Eagle One."

45.INT. COMMAND CENTRE BRIAN (VO): "Am I glad to hear your voice. Eagles from planet Earth." ((wolf-whistle)) "And is that, or is that not, the dear old mooney-moon-moon?" Tony sniggers.

46.INT. EAGLE PILOT SECTION FRASER: "Eagle One to spaceship. That is the Moon. Identify yourself."

EXT. SPACE (SFX) Eagle & Swift. BRIAN (VO): "Oh, yes, hello, Eagle, how are you? My spaceship is a Swift, also originating from planet Earth."

47.INT. COMMAND CENTRE BRIAN (VO): "I was on a star mission with three other Swifts and a mothership. We left Earth in nineteen ninety six." KOENIG: "Let's try to check that out." MAYA (types): "It's working. Star mission of nineteen ninety six, mothership and four Swifts, under Captain Michael." HELENA: "What happened to the expedition?" MAYA: "There was a communications break. Fate unknown."

48.EXT. SPACE (SFX) Eagle & Swift. BRIAN (VO): "Swift to Eagle One. Hey, there used to be a base on the Moon, what was it?"

50.INT. COMMAND CENTRE BRIAN (VO): "Uh...Alpha? Is it still there? Is it manned?" FRASER (VO): "Moonbase Alpha is operational." KOENIG: "Yeah, we'd be more operational if I knew about that gravity pull. Any more data?" MAYA: "No, Commander. I'll check if it's a real gravity threat or if our computer has developed a fault." BRIAN (VO): "Swift to Moonbase Alpha. Swift to Moonbase Alpha. Hello there. Hey, listen you guys, "

EXT. SPACE (SFX) BRIAN (VO, cont): " I haven't seen or heard anybody for long enough, I'd given up. Hey, I'll tell you what."

50.INT. COMMAND CENTRE BRIAN (VO): "Can I come down and have lunch with you?" ((beat)) KOENIG: "Moonbase Alpha to Swift. Alright, come on down and have lunch with us."

51.EXT. SPACE (SFX) Eagles & Swift fly on.

50.INT. COMMAND CENTRE Koenig puts his hand on Tony's shoulder. TONY: "Weapons Section. This applies to missiles standing by for evacuation. Target, incoming spaceship, an old Swift from Earth." WEAPONS (VO): "Weapons section armed and ready." TONY (to Koenig): "Standing by."

52.EXT. SPACE (SFX) Swift fires vertical engines & descends.

53.INT. COMMAND CENTRE KOENIG: "Eagles remain on stand by." TONY: "On stand by." KOENIG: "We'll investigate Swift. Helena." ((he & Helena leave))

54.EXT. LAUNCH PAD (SFX) As Eagle passes, Swift lands on cross-shaped pad.

55.INT. CORRIDOR Koenig, Helena & two guards enter the Travel Unit & sit.

56.INT. TRAVEL TUBE (SFX) Unit speeds off.

57.INT. TRAVEL UNIT Koenig & Helena sit.

56.INT. TRAVEL TUBE (SFX) Unit stops.

54.EXT. LAUNCH PAD (SFX) Boarding tube extends to Swift, Alpha beyond.

57.INT. TRAVEL UNIT Koenig & Helena get up & leave.

57.INT. DOCK Koenig & Helena open the Swift door. POV of Swift interior. Koenig. POV of interior. KOENIG: "This is the Commander of Moonbase Alpha. We're coming aboard."

58.INT. SWIFT Koenig indicates the guards to enter. They look round & enter the pilot section. They return. SECURITY LIEUTENANT: "There's noone there, sir." KOENIG: "What?" SECURITY LIEUTENANT: "Just no sign of anyone, sir." ((Koenig looks at Helena)) KOENIG: "The ship is in good order?" SECURITY LIEUTENANT: "Yes, sir." KOENIG: "But empty." SECURITY LIEUTENANT: "That's right, sir." BRIAN (VO): "Okay, fellas, okay, okay, you've had your inspection. Well armed I see. You know I get the fact that you really are from planet Earth, so that's okay. We're all friends." SECURITY LIEUTENANT: "Where are you?" BRIAN (VO): "Just coming out. Where's your Commander?" KOENIG (enters Swift): "Right here." BRIAN (VO): "What's your name?" KOENIG: "Koenig." HELENA: "What's your name?" BRIAN (VO): "Oh lady, what a question. I haven't got a name. No, no, no, you stay there, okay? I'll come and meet you." ((a part of the pilot section console detaches & drives into the passenger module)) "Koenig." KOENIG (amazed, cautious): "Yeh, that's me." BRIAN: "And you're the lady." ((Koenig smiles)) HELENA: "I'm Doctor Russell." BRIAN: "How are you, Doctor Russell. Shall we go into the Moonbase." ((moves to airlock, passing guards)) "Ah, would you excuse me, just break it up, will you fellas, and, look, don't point. It's very rude. Oh, there aren't any steps or stairs are there?" KOENIG: "No." BRIAN: "Because I'm on wheels, and I can't cope with the bumps. They didn't think of that when they made me. And you guys, you watch my antenna. Look, I'd better tell you what's what, huh? Who I am, I mean." KOENIG: "Yes, who are you?" BRIAN: "Well, like I said, star mission nineteen ninety six. Our mothership and the other Swifts landed on that planet, we called it planet D. And they died, all of them, they just died. I've been orbiting ever since, waiting for another Earth mission to turn up." HELENA: "Were you a member of the original crew?" BRIAN: "I'm on the talking seeing head, the Brain. The rest of me is that old computer on the Swift."

62.INT. TRAVEL UNIT They enter. BRIAN: "My antenna allows me to move about while still keeping contact with my body, so to speak. Ouch!" ((Security Lt steps on his antenna)) "Don't step on my antenna! It gives me the heebie-jeebies! Not to mention a headache." SECURITY LIEUTENANT: "Sorry."

INT. TRAVEL TUBE (SFX) Unit moves off.

62.INT. TRAVEL UNIT KOENIG: "What do we call you?" BRIAN: "Well, like I said, I haven't got a name, there's only one of me, so I don't need a name, do I?" KOENIG: "Brain." ((seriously, then laughs)) BRIAN: "Well, that's not my name, that's what I am. The first word I ever said was Brain, only I got it wrong. I said Brian. Well, that's a name, if you want to give me a name, call me Brian." HELENA (amused): "Alright, Brian. We wouldn't want to get you wrong." ((Koenig laughs)) BRIAN: "Okay, lady."

63.INT. TRAVEL TUBE (SFX) Unit stops.

64.INT. TRAVEL UNIT BRIAN: "Change? Shall I lead the way?" KOENIG: "After you." BRIAN: "Fine." ((goes down slope of floor into Reception)) "Wee, that's nice."

65.INT. CORRIDOR KOENIG (as leaves Unit): "We've had an odd change of course on Alpha. Has your computer-" BRIAN: "My what?" KOENIG: "Have you recorded it?" BRIAN: "Oh no, I haven't, no, change of course? What do you mean, change of course, what's pulling you?" HELENA: "That's what we want to know." BRIAN: "You mean a gravity pull, like from planet D? Oh, a collision course with planet D won't be so funny. Gee, I'll check on that." HELENA (whispers to Koenig): "He can help us."

66.INT. COMMAND CENTRE Brian enters. BRIAN: "Hello, everybody, how are you? I'm fine, I'm just okey-doke, I really am. You know, it's really nice to see you, I- I thought I was going to have to wait for a century or so, I- oh, oh, how do you do?, " ((to blonde)) " yeh, huh, I'm sorry I can't shake hands, I haven't got a hand, but, ah, you can pat me if you like, Well, go on.." ((she tentatively tickles under his 'chin')) "Woo..peek-a-boo!" ((laughs as she retreats)) "Peek-a-boo, ha, ha, ha. Oh, will you take a look at that trolley: yellow plastic wheels, woo!" ((wolf whistles at Alpha Log Recorder)) "No, I'm just kidding, really, I mean that trolley don't mean anything to me, we're just good friends. I mean yellow wheels, yecch! Oh. Hey. Hey, look, your computer's the same as mine. Mark Ten Holographic Programming, yeah." ((bleeps)) "You know him and me, we're compatible. Ah, Koenig, um, thanks for having me on board, listen, I'll get back and I'll check that change of course." KOENIG: "What about that..lunch you wanted?" BRIAN: "Well, I haven't got a digestive system, a couple of kilowatts does me. Oh, doctor, would you like a personally conducted tour of inspection of my humble abode?" HELENA: "Thank you, I'd like that very much." BRIAN: "Well, I asked you because, being a doctor, maybe you can throw some light on the death of my crew. Not to say my captain." HELENA: "I'll be glad to try to help." BRIAN: "Fine. On we go." KOENIG: "Mind if I come along?" BRIAN: "Mind? No, why should I mind, I'd be delighted, really. Oh, so long, everybody! Right, this way. Ah, um? Ah, these doors are so nice." TONY: "Well. What do you make of that?" MAYA: "I'm not sure." TONY: "Well, what was it?" MAYA: "It's a self programming computer. Self monitoring too." TONY: "Well, is it alive?" MAYA: "That's a difficult question. It doesn't breathe, it doesn't reproduce. Depends what you mean by alive." TONY: "Well, I don't know what I mean. But that sure made my day." ((sits at desk)) MAYA: "Tony." TONY: "Uh huh." MAYA: "I've got a bad feeling about that machine." TONY: "A bad feeling?" MAYA: "Mm." TONY: "Oh, come on, Maya. Well, give it a chance, it's doing a check for us. We don't know where we're heading yet. You know what your problem is? You brain works like a computer so you're jealous of that other computer." MAYA: "I have a bad feeling. What are they doing on Swift? Open a channel." TONY: "Okay." ((his screen shows a sine wave)) -Big Screen (SFX): static.

67.EXT. LAUNCH PAD (SFX) Swift launches, Alpha beyond.

INT. COMMAND CENTRE -Big Screen (SFX): static. -Command Centre: Tony looks at Maya; she activates her desk screeen: a sine wave. -Big Screen (SFX): -Command Centre: favour Maya, then Tony. TONY: "Red alert." MAYA: "No response." TONY: "We've been cut off. Where are they?"

EXT. SPACE (SFX) Swift spins erratically.

FADE OUT

ACT TWO
68.EXT. SPACE (SFX) Moon in background as Swift falls.

69.INT. SWIFT They are being shaken, Brian rolling back & forth. BRIAN: "Ohh." ((they steady)) KOENIG: "Where are you taking us?" BRIAN: "I'm, I'm sorry, so we took off, now don't panic me or we'll all be in trouble. Let me be until I get the ship under control." KOENIG: "Let you be?!!" HELENA: "John, it's just a machine." KOENIG: "What do you think you're doing?" BRIAN: "Shut up! Wow wee! Oh!"

70.EXT. SPACE (SFX) Swift rises.

71.INT. SWIFT BRIAN: "I'll just go through for a minute." ((goes to pilot section)) KOENIG: "You alright?" HELENA: "Yeah." BRIAN: "Am I alright, I've gotta be." KOENIG: "I wasn't talking to you! Where are you going?" BRIAN: "I'm going to my pilot console." ((slots into console & bleeps)) Swift screen: receding Moon. (sc 73) Koenig enters the pilot section, holding his laser (sc 74) BRIAN: "Come on in. Oh-oh. Just let me trim this course." KOENIG: "Trim it back to Moonbase Alpha." BRIAN: "No, wait!" ((bleeps)) "This is where we're going." Swift screen: blue planet approaches (sc 75) They react (sc 76) HELENA: "Planet D." BRIAN: "You got it, lady." ((Koenig goes to console & types)) "Uh, uh, uh, Commander. It's channelled through me." KOENIG (points laser): "Program this spaceship to return to Alpha." BRIAN: "If you fire that and kill me, the airlocks will open and you and the lady will be swept into space." ((Helena looks at spacesuits)) "And if you make a move for the spacesuits, I'll let the air out. Sit down, both of you. Sit down or I'll spit you out! I don't need air, do I?" KOENIG: "Let me communicate with Alpha." BRIAN: "Why not? Put your gun down on the shelf." KOENIG: "Why are you taking us to planet D?" BRIAN: "Put your gun down and I'll tell you. I'm not gonna harm you." KOENIG: "I don't trust you." BRIAN: "Hard luck. Put your gun on the shelf. You know, Koenig. I can't eject one without the other, and if you go into space, she goes. One. Two." ((airlock door opens & light objects are sucked to it before it shuts again)) "Shall I open the airlock and out you go? Put your gun on the shelf, Koenig, near the airlock panel. That's it, behind you." ((Koenig does; the gun drops in a hatch)) HELENA: "Let us through to Alpha." BRIAN: "I'd give you service with a smile, lady, but, uh, I can't smile as you can imagine, although I do have a very pretty face." ((whistles)) "There's the service, on the screen." -Swift screen: shows Command Centre. (sc 77)

78.INT. COMMAND CENTRE MAYA: "There's no picture, whichever button I press." TONY: "Try a straight line to the Medical centre." Her screen displays a sine wave. MAYA: "Nothing but a mathematical sine wave. Try the memory bank. What date is it?" TONY: "The same. Now what diameter is this moon?" MAYA: "The same?" TONY: "Yep." MAYA: "The computer's either had it's memory wiped, "

79.INT. SWIFT They watch. MAYA (VO): " or the links to it have been paralysed." TONY (VO): "Well, either way Moonbase Alpha is blind."

78.INT. COMMAND CENTRE MAYA: "The Brain had the same computer as ours. When it got in here it somehow gave the command 'eradicate'."

81.INT. SWIFT HELENA: "Is that true? You've blinded them so they can't communicate?" BRIAN (unconcerned): "I guess so." Koenig & Helena look appalled.

82.INT. COMMAND CENTRE TONY: "We can't even tell where the horizon is. Are we on a collision course or are we going into orbit round some gravity centre?" FRASER (enters): "I've been sitting on Eagle One waiting to hear from you. What's going on?" TONY: "Our communications have been wiped out." FRASER: "All of them?" TONY: "Yep." FRASER: "Well." MAYA: "What about the computer on Eagle One?" FRASER: "It's functioning, but, ah, we can't get an answer from you." TONY: "Wait a minute. Fraser. Could you fly without guidance from base computer?" FRASER: "I suppose so." TONY: "The Commander and Doctor Russell have been abducted on that Swift and we've got to get 'em back." FRASER: "I'll go after them." TONY: "We'll go after them with a whole squadron of Eagles, come on, Maya."

EXT. LAUNCH PAD (SFX) Eagle launches. Another Eagle launches.

INT. EAGLE PILOT SECTION Fraser & Tony pilot, with Maya crouched by them.

EXT. SPACE (SFX) The Swift.

83.INT. SWIFT BRIAN: "That's a good crew, Koenig. You know what those boys of yours are showing? They're showing loyalty. Yeh, well, I like that. I- I'll make a note of that." ((bleeps)) "Hang on folks, I'm going to slow down."

EXT. SPACE (SFX) Swift slows.

89.INT. SWIFT Koenig & Helena are thrown forward with a jerk. BRIAN (maliciously): "Watch close, folks, while I blind those Eagles." HELENA: "No!" BRIAN: "Why not, lady? If I don't they'll damage me. And if they damage me, they damage you and Koenig."

84.EXT. SPACE (SFX) 4 Eagles.

86.INT. EAGLE PILOT SECTION FRASER: "Eagle One to Eagle squadron. Swift seems to want us to catch up." MAYA: "It could be a trap." TONY: "Circle target."

87.EXT. SPACE (SFX) 2 Eagles move either side of the Swift.

89.INT. SWIFT KOENIG: "Let me talk to them." BRIAN: "Anything you want, Koenig, go ahead."

EXT. SPACE (SFX) The 2 Eagles are behind the Swift. KOENIG (VO): "Tony." TONY (VO): "John!" KOENIG (VO): "Return to Alpha."

90.INT. EAGLE PILOT SECTION FRASER: "But they're prisoners." KOENIG (on screen): "That's so. But if you don't go back your computer will be blinded like Moonbase Alpha. And you won't be able to get back." TONY: "We can't just leave you." KOENIG (on screen): "You must." BRIAN (VO): "Tell them you're okay. I've got food and drink. Whatya want, music? I got music." KOENIG (on screen): "We're being looked after, we're..we're safe. Acknowledge command. Acknowledge, Tony." TONY: "Command received."

91.INT. SWIFT KOENIG: "Did you check whether the Moon and Planet D are on a collision course?" BRIAN: "Sure. The Moon and planet D are not on a collision course." KOENIG: "What course are they on?" BRIAN: "They're going in circles round each other, and they'll go on spinning round each other until the end of time." FRASER (on screen): "What is the Brain, some crazy hijacking slot machine?" BRIAN: "Who's a fruit machine, you plastic pin brain, you!" KOENIG: "Eagle One return to Alpha. I want all personnel back on Moonbase." FRASER (VO): "Yes, sir."

92.EXT. SPACE (SFX) 2 Eagles leave Swift. Other side: 2 Eagles leave Swift.

93.INT. SWIFT BRIAN: "You know what you've shown, Koenig, is leadership. I'm very impressed. I'm making a note." ((bleeps))

EXT. SPACE (SFX) 4 Eagles fly off.

94.INT. EAGLE PILOT SECTION FRASER: "All communications cut, they can't see or hear us now." MAYA: "I can guide you." TONY: "Okay, send all the other Eagles back. We'll go on. We've got our own fool proof computer. Maya."

95.EXT. SPACE (SFX) 4 Eagles fly on. 2 Eagles; one split off ((as sc 42))

96.INT. EAGLE PILOT SECTION FRASER: "Where's the Swift heading for?" MAYA (types): "Planet D." FRASER: "I want to be on planet D waiting when that thing gets there."

97.EXT. SPACE (SFX) CU Eagle engines firing. Eagles fires engines, as moves to planet.

FADE OUT

ACT THREE
EXT. SPACE (SFX) Swift.

98.INT. SWIFT HELENA: "What's planet D like?" BRIAN: "It's like the Moon." KOENIG: "Does it have air?" BRIAN: "Yeh, but there's a kind of mist that could be poison. Awh, come on, folks, be happy. I brought you together here. I'm offering you all the time in the world. Don't you love each other?" ((beat)) KOENIG: "No." HELENA: "Of course not." BRIAN: "Do you mind if I test that? I've got to know. Now we've got two airlocks in the passenger module, I want one of you in each." KOENIG: "What if we don't?" BRIAN: "Well, how about this?" A bright purple light shines on Koenig & Helena. HELENA: "Ultraviolet!" KOENIG: "Shut your eyes!" BRIAN: "Won't do no good. Your eyes are gonna shrivel up." HELENA: "Please turn it off." BRIAN: "Get into the airlock." KOENIG: "Alright, just turn it off. Turn off the light." ((it is turned off)) BRIAN: "Now into the airlock." Koenig & Helena recover. KOENIG: "Are you alright?" HELENA: "Yeah." BRIAN: "Come on, come on, come on. You're alright. That ultra violet never fails. Thank you, come along." ((moves from wall after them)) In Passenger Section before airlock. ((sc 99)) KOENIG: "In there?" BRIAN: "Right." Koenig hesitates; the light strikes & he recoils into the airlock. The light ends. KOENIG: "Okay." BRIAN: "That's fine, Koenig, that's fine. Now don't worry. And now you, lady. Into the next one. Okay, good girl. You're gonna be alright. It's just something I've gotta know about you too. I've really got to know, Koenig. Do you love this lady?" KOENIG: "No, I don't." BRIAN: "Doctor Helena Russell. Do you love this man?" HELENA: "No, I don't." BRIAN: "Yes." ((doors close)) "What I'm gonna do, I'm gonna let the air out. Slowly. You see button in your airlock, the black one. Do you see the black one? Now at any time, folks, while the air's getting thinner, you can press your button and that will channel your remaining air to the other airlock. You get it? Koenig, if you press your button, all the rest of your air goes to the lady. And Doctor Russell. If you hit your black button, you give all your remaining air to Koenig and he can live." ((they knock silently on the door)) "I've gotta tell you, you can't communicate with each other, No way, folks. Ready? Here goes." They start to breathe heavily. They knock on the doors & stagger. BRIAN: "You're running out of time, folks." ((they stagger & pant, very weak. Both go to hit the button)) "Wow-wee! Sam-ult-taneous! You can have all your air back." ((the doors open & they stagger out to embrace)) "Oh, wow, oh, you love each other! Woo! Oh, yeh. You know, keeping one of you hostage gives me an eighteen carat gold crunch on the other. Ah, ha, ha, ha! Woo!" ((he whistle tune of 'Here comes the bride', then laughs))

100.EXT. SPACE (SFX) Swift travels to planet horizon.

101.EXT. PLANET SURFACE (SFX) Swift lands in mist.

102.INT. SWIFT Helena is helping Koenig put a spacesuit on. BRIAN (bleeping): "Come on, come on, lady. Move faster." HELENA: "I'm moving as fast as I can." BRIAN: "I don't believe you, lady, you're going slow." KOENIG: "Why are you making me go out on planet D, why don't you go out yourself?" BRIAN: "Because it's too bumpy out there, I'm on wheels, I told you." KOENIG: "What are you after?" BRIAN: "I'll tell you, Koenig. I've landed within a hundred and fifty yards of my old mothership. I want you to get aboard the mothership, unload the fuel store, bring it back to me, and install it in my storage tanks." HELENA: "Fuel? You have enough nuclear fuel here." BRIAN: "Enough?" KOENIG: "Enough for a thousand years." BRIAN: "What's a thousand years to me? There's enough fuel on that mothership to last me a billion years! You know, Koenig, I'm going to live for ever! And it's okay, I'll keep the lady safe for you. I know how you feel. So no monkey tricks or you know what you'll find when you come back." The spotlight burns upon Helena. Koenig jumps in front of her, his back to the light. HELENA: "Oh, John!" KOENIG: "Alright, turn it off, now turn out that light." ((light ends)) BRIAN: "Well now, that's better." ((Koenig puts on the helmet))

103.EXT. PLANET SURFACE Koenig climbs down the ladder & scans the light around. He sees a body & kneels by it, passing the light over it. He walks on to see another slumped body. Koenig walks on (sc 104). His comlock bleeps. BRIAN (VO): "Come on, Koenig, watch it! Keep contact! What are you doing? Where are you? Report back, what are you doing?"

107.INT. SWIFT HELENA: "I can't see him." BRIAN: "Visual communication's not too good on planet D. Call him." HELENA: "John?" KOENIG (VO): "Yes, okay." BRIAN: "He said okay. Not to worry, lady. So who's worried?" HELENA: "How did you come to be made?" BRIAN: "My master Captain Michael made me, I told you. He taught me to speak and..and he grew fond of me." HELENA: "What was he like?" BRIAN (screen shows Michael): "That's him. My father." Screen shows photographs of Michael with different reactions. KOENIG (VO): "Koenig to Swift."

108.EXT. PLANET SURFACE KOENIG: "Am now in the vicinity of the Mothership."

INT. SWIFT BRIAN: "Koenig? What do you see?"

108.EXT. PLANET SURFACE BRIAN (VO): "What state is the Mothership in?" KOENIG: "Communication indistinct. Can't see you, can hardly hear you. I'm going round to the blind side of the ship now. Out."

109.INT. SWIFT HELENA: "John? John?" BRIAN: "We'll have til the mission's completed. He's out of contact now."

FADE OUT

ACT FOUR
110.EXT. PLANET SURFACE Koenig reaches the ladder & starts to climb it.

111.INT. MOTHERSHIP It is dark as Koenig enters. He turns on the lights to see boxes & rubbish. TONY: "John." ((he stands unhelmeted with Maya)) KOENIG: "Tony! Maya!" ((opens visor)) "Am I glad to see you." TONY: "We landed ahead of you so we came aboard." KOENIG: "You see what's out there?" MAYA: "Mm." TONY: "Yeah." MAYA: "Presumably the crew. I tested the atmosphere. Toxic, deadly." TONY: "They went out without their suits. They must have been crazy." They walk to a body in a seat. KOENIG: "Captain Michael, Commander of the Star Mission." MAYA: "Permission to test the console, Commander?" KOENIG: "Permission granted. But make it fast. We've got to get back to Helena." Maya types: a sine wave appears on the screen. MAYA: "A sine wave. The same response as on Moonbase. That means the Mothership is blind." KOENIG: "That Brain is mad." TONY: "It blinded the computer on it's own Mothership?" MAYA: "That's why the crew didn't know about the poison and went out there and died." KOENIG: "That's why Captain Michael was left alone with no means of life support." TONY: "John. Why did the Brain kidnap you?" KOENIG: "To transfer the fuel from this ship back to the Swift." MAYA: "The fuel?!" KOENIG: "It wants to live forever, Maya. We'd better find that fuel." ((they search)) TONY: "Listen. How do we get at the Brain? We can't just rush it, it's still got Helena." KOENIG: "Not only that. It's got the only working computer in this part of the Universe." TONY: "Okay, so how do we get at it?" KOENIG: "By breaking it's mind." TONY: "Breaking it's mind?!" KOENIG: "Confusing it to the extent it doesn't know what it's doing. It killed the man who made it. We'll work on that." MAYA: "I had a good look at Captain Michael." KOENIG: "I know you did, Maya." ((looks round)) "Hello, what's this? Wait a minute. I think Captain Michael was working on something here." ((a box like Brian's head is before him)) TONY: "Well, does that matter now?" KOENIG: "Yes it does, Tony. I think I know what this was going to be." TONY: "What are you on to, John?" KOENIG (to Maya): "How do we get you aboard?" MAYA: "I can fit into your pocket." KOENIG: "Good girl." ((she transforms into a mouse; he picks her up)) "Easy, Maya." TONY: "You got her?" KOENIG: "Let's find that fuel. Tony."

112.INT. SWIFT BRIAN: "That Koenig is taking his time!" HELENA: "He's got to find the fuel store, unlock the core and find a way to get it back here." BRIAN: "Lady, you don't know what this means to me. Is Koenig reliable?" HELENA: "He's reliable."

113.EXT. PLANET SURFACE Koenig walks through mist.

112.INT. SWIFT BRIAN: "There he is!" HELENA: "John!" BRIAN: "Have you got it all!?!" KOENIG (VO): "Koenig to Swift. Am approaching with the fuel core." BRIAN: "Have you got it all? Koenig, answer!" KOENIG: "Are you ready to receive me?" BRIAN: "Yes, of course, come on, Koenig!"

115.EXT. PLANET SURFACE Koenig reaches the ladder, puts down the light & climbs it. The door opens to the mist as Koenig climbs up to it. He enters.

116.INT. SWIFT Brian & Helena go to the airlock. BRIAN: "Wowe, good man!, come on, Koenig, come on. Come on, come on, come on." HELENA: "Let him decompress properly." BRIAN: "He's stalling! Come on, Koenig." ((door opens)) "There! Come on. Oh, you got it. That's good." ((Koenig opens visor)) "Now c-,..what'y...." HELENA: "How are you, how was it, are you alright?" KOENIG: "I'm fine." ((they kiss)) BRIAN: "Will you...will you cut it out, you too, Koenig, get to the fuel. Come on." KOENIG: "Mind if I take off this spacesuit?" BRIAN: "No, you can do it later, now, come on, come on, get on with it. Now, Doctor Russell. Open the hatch, there, number four." KOENIG: "Brian?" BRIAN: "Mm?" KOENIG: "Incidentally I saw your crew scattered all over the planet surface. Lying dead." BRIAN: "So they're dead." KOENIG: "And Captain Michael. Sitting at his command desk. Also dead." BRIAN: "My father? Oh... Come on, get on with that fuel. In there! Doctor Russell, will you open the hatch." KOENIG: "Brian. Which end goes in first, which end is up?" BRIAN: "What? What? What does it say?" HELENA: "It doesn't say anything." BRIAN: "Well any way up, those fuel cores are symmetrical, now quit fooling, Koenig." KOENIG: "You're the boss, Brian." BRIAN: "Now be careful. Careful. That's right. Careful. That's right. Now, gently. Carefully!" ((cylinder slips in)) "Yehaw, yippee! Oh boy, oh boy, do I feel good. Oh boy, that, that fuel, yes, sir, yehaw!, yow!" ((sings)) "I-I-I-I-I like you verry much.." ((laughs)) "Do you know I'm so happy I could cry, but I wasn't programmed for crying; it's the happiest day of my life, I'm free, I'm free to roam this Universe, free to live forever! Stand by for takeoff!"

117.EXT. PLANET SURFACE (SFX) Swift launches.

EXT. SPACE (SFX) Eagle passes nebula.

124.INT. EAGLE PILOT SECTION Fraser & Tony. TONY: "Take it easy. We can't approach too close or the Brain might blind us."

118.INT. SWIFT Koenig steps out of his suit & takes a mouse out of his jacket pocket. He puts it by Brian's antenna. BRIAN: "What's that? What is that?" HELENA: "A mouse." BRIAN (bleeping): "Get rid of it, it's biting my antenna. Where did it come from?" KOENIG: "Planet D." BRIAN (stops bleeping & realises): "There are no mice on planet D." KOENIG: "There are now. It's got a message for you." BRIAN: "What message?" KOENIG: "A message from Captain Michael." BRIAN: "What? But he's dead. What message?! What message, Koenig!?!" ((beat)) KOENIG: "Revenge." BRIAN: "You don't have a message from Captain Michael. Listen, mortals, what do you think you can do against me, I'm in complete control of this spaceship and everything aboard it! You're a fool to come aboard me because I'm gonna blow you into space!" KOENIG: "Why did you kill your master?" ((advances on Brian, who retreats)) BRIAN: "I did not kill my master." KOENIG: "He was sitting at his command desk, dead. You killed him." BRIAN: "I did not kill him. I don't know how he died." KOENIG: "He died because you blinded his computer. His crew was misled and he was left with no means of life support." HELENA: "You killed the man who created you, your own father, why?" BRIAN: "Now, listen, both of you." KOENIG: "I know why you killed him. He was working on an improved version of you." BRIAN: "My master was not! He was not!" KOENIG: "Yes, he was, I saw it. He was working on an advanced version of you. You were gonna be scrapped, weren't you?" HELENA: "You blinded the Mothership so that a new Brain could not be made." BRIAN: "Aah, my father was not working on a better Brain, there can't be a better Brain, any improvements on me I will make myself!" ((backed against airlock)) HELENA: "You're agitated." BRIAN: "I'm going to sweep you out into space." KOENIG: "No, no. You can't solve your problems by killing us the way you killed Captain Michael." BRIAN: "I did not kill Captain Michael." HELENA: "You did." BRIAN: "I did not!" KOENIG: "Yes, you did." BRIAN: "I did not!" KOENIG: "He told me!" BRIAN: "Who told you?" ((sound of Maya transforming over)) KOENIG: "Captain Michael." MICHAEL: "Brain." BRIAN: "Waargh!" ((spot explosions on him)) MICHAEL: "Brain, I want to talk to you." BRIAN: "Aargh, argh.." MICHAEL: "Why did you do it?" BRIAN: "It was a mistake." ((backs against side)) MICHAEL: "Who am I?" BRIAN: "Captain Michael. My father." KOENIG: "He conceived you. He made you. He's wiser than you and greater than you. And you killed him." ((they make him retreat into the airlock)) BRIAN: "I didn't, I didn't, it was an accident, I tell you." KOENIG: "We're going to blow you into space." ((amidst shouting)) "Out. Out. Out." They push Brian into the airlock. The door closes & they use the controls: Brian is sucked out.

128.EXT. SPACE (SFX) By a limb of the Swift, Brian floats out, then stops, caught by his antenna.

128.INT. SWIFT Michael's reflection in the airlock door glass. It becomes that of Maya. KOENIG: "Let's contact Tony. I'll stop this Swift for docking procedure." ((they go to the pilot console)) "Koenig to Eagle One."

EXT. SPACE (SFX) Eagle. FRASER (VO): "Eagle One to Commander Koenig, we are receiving you." KOENIG (VO): "Let me talk to Tony."

129.INT. EAGLE PILOT SECTION TONY: "Right here, John."

130.INT. SWIFT KOENIG: "Come along side and pick us up."

EXT. SPACE (SFX) Swift.

INT. SWIFT Koenig sits at the console & operates. KOENIG: "Preparing to dock."

EXT. SPACE (SFX) Eagle moves by the Swift's limb, near which Brian floats.

130.INT. SWIFT KOENIG: "Our problem now is to get the memory core from the Brain and take it back to Alpha." MAYA: "The Brain still has its antenna." KOENIG: "We'll destroy it, cut it." BRIAN (on screen): "If you destroy my antenna my memory ore will be wiped clean. Moonbase will be blind foreveer." KOENIG: "Is that the truth? Or another lie?" BRIAN: "If you don't get me back in I'll wipe it clean anyway." KOENIG: "I'll take that chance. Cut the antenna." BRIAN: "Don't cut my antenna, please, don't cut my antenna!" KOENIG: "Alright, Brian. We'll let you live, if you give us your memory core undamaged."

136.EXT. SPACE (SFX) Brian by limb in space. BRIAN: "Yes, take my memory, take everything. All I wanted was life...and friends...I was so lonely...take it all...Take it all..." ((sobs))

136A.INT. SWIFT HELENA: "He's crying." They watch.

FADE OUT

EPILOGUE
EXT. MOONBASE ALPHA (SFX) Close on base.

132.INT. COMMAND CENTRE Helena enters from front, Maya from rear. MAYA: "Reprogramming of memory core complete, Commander." KOENIG: "Alright. Let's see if it works." TONY: "Okay." ((operates screen: shows 'Operational')) "It's operational!" KOENIG: "We still don't know where we're going. Direction check." MAYA: "Horizon data direction check." ((screen changes from 'Operational' to 'Direction Unchanged')) "Operational." TONY: "We're not spinning round planet D. We're on the same course we always were." HELENA: "Another lie from Brian the Brain." MAYA: "What do you intend to do about the Brain, Commander?" KOENIG: "I don't know, Maya. Let's take a look at it." -Big Screen (SFX): Brian in space (sc 138) MAYA (VO): "We've made it blind and taken away it's memory." -Command Centre: (sc 139) TONY: "Listen, when it was operational it killed a lot of people." MAYA: "Well, it felt guilt about it's master." HELENA: "It cried. It had a conscience." -Big Screen (SFX): Brian by limb in space. -Command Centre: MAYA: "We could always reinstate it's memory core. Though...that could be dangerous." HELENA: "No. Not if we programme our own morality into it. Give it the ten commandments." TONY: "Yeah. You could order it to self destruct if it ever harbours any evil thoughts again." KOENIG (after thought): "Return the memory core to the Swift." MAYA: "Yes, Commander." TONY: "Hey, Maya. Now that our computer has the Brain's memory, you'd better not transform yourself into a yellow wheeled trolley. Or this console will get up and chase you." ((Maya laughs)) KOENIG (quietly to Helena): "Are we going to have any off duty time that coincides?" HELENA: "I think our off duty time has been used up for the next month, sir." KOENIG (starts to walk away): "Terrific. I was looking forward to discussing that love test." MAYA: "What test was that, Commander?" KOENIG: "Oh, ah. Just a little something that our friend Brian devised." HELENA: "It's a test that we, ah, huh, " ((laugh)) ", we failed." KOENIG (returns to her): "I thought we passed it."

FREEZE FRAME